Why do we stalk our exes on social media after a breakup?
I have no direct answer to the question asked, but I will give different possible reasons why I think we stalk our exes on social media after a breakup. I will start by telling a story of an ex I stalked after we broke up.
I was in a long-distance relationship for six months, and our break up was mutual. The reason was that we could not handle the distance even though we had strong feelings for one another. He made a suggestion for us to try and be friends. However, I didn’t see the sense of being friends when we both know our feelings for each other would get in the way. So I decided it is probably best if we had nothing to do with each other, but he was not entirely pleased with my decision. I acted like I only cared about my own heart and not his feelings. Weeks passed by, and the thought of him always found a way to pop up in my head unexpectedly. I remember the evening when I decided to unblock him and start stalking him. He was active on most social media sites, so it was easy to keep up with his daily activities. I stalked him for a while before I finally decided to have a conversation with him. The first thing I got off my mind was to tell him about me stalking him on social media, and he replied that he had been sneaking into my social media accounts also. Long story short, we got back together and dated for a year before we broke up again. However, it was different this time because we had tangible reasons for breaking up, and we did not have to blame distance for it. We decided to be friends who do not stalk each other but legitimately like, comment, and tag each other on social media. So instead of losing an incredible person forever, stalking made me gain a friend even though our relationship did not work out.
My story here clearly shows that I stalked my ex because I still had feelings for him, and I wanted to know what was going on in his life because I still cared. Now back to answering the question of why we stalk our exes on social media after a breakup?
1. It could be that you still care about the person, and social media is the only way you can check to see if they are okay.
2. It could be that you are just checking their accounts for the sake of keeping accurate tabs on them.
3. It could be that you think there is still hope for both of you to come back together, and you are waiting for an opportunity to send a signal.
4. It could be because it was part of your routine to check their social media accounts and you can’t help yourself stop instantly.
5. Most times, you find it hard to let go, and you find yourself checking on them to get some closure that only you understand.
6. You might be a creepy and jealous person who wants to be in the other person’s business. Like you want to know who they are currently dating, places they hang out at, people that they are still friends with, people that liked their pictures, and everything that goes on in their lives.
However, these answers might not be accurate, but through people’s experiences, I have been able to give an insight into why I think people stalk their exes on social media.
These answers lead to another question. Is stalking your ex on social media healthy or unhealthy? I will say it is on a balanced scale because some have found a way to heal through stalking their exes like me while others have gone through a more painful experience.
Breakups are never easy, regardless of how things ended. The hardest part is moving on. How long you were together isn’t important, because it might take a while for you to get them out of your head. It is normal to stalk an ex, but as time goes on, you should be able to stop stalking altogether, or else you will cause yourself more pain. So instead of stalking an ex on social media, why not focus on other things that make you happy, like a hobby to help you get your mind off your ex?
Stalking an ex on social media is not the best thing for you, even though it is a general thing people do after a breakup. Some might have stalked their ex and found closure to move on while it has left others stuck on their exes. We all deserve happiness after heartbreak. You can take a while to be in your feelings, but try not to dwell in that spot for a long time. Go out and hang out with friends, do not rush to date if you think you are not ready or learn something new that can be your free getaway card from thinking about an ex. Always remember to put your wellbeing first, so drop that phone and stop stalking your ex. Be Happy.
By Omotayo White
